Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Trampoline Hall

Why do we like what we like?

I sometimes joke about having a crush on Rachael McAdams. This is especially weird (haha.. weirder than actually posting about it??) because there's no reason whatsoever for it. Well, other than she being absolutely stunning.

So, what I'm trying to figure out is, why her? I mean, why her when one has the imaginary pick amongst Maxim's top 100 today? (well, ok, that's media driven obviously, but whatever.. ). I don't know how to explain it, but there is something that draws me to her fictional image/character. I mean, doesn't everyone have a crush on some actor/actress?.. well, haha, maybe not. And no, I'm not totally serious. BUT, I wanted to find out what the hell made me think that way in the first place.

What was this absolute non-connection connection? Why do we like what we like? Music? Aesthetics? Why do we make art? Is it science? Ramachandran vs. the world of hurt? What is it that makes me think I can guess a personality based basically on looks alone? And beyond that, the looks of an actress??!!

John Locke wrote that this "feeling of understanding" for another person had to do with memories and early concrete episodes influencing ones' life, and the associations made to those episodes. However, even amnesia patients seem to have a knowledge of self and seem to carry on their passed patterns and personality; their preferences.

Now, I'm not arguing that we're born with innate ideas (thats a whole other post), but we, I think, and I doubt few would argue, that we are brought up with many implicit examples and ideas that we have never really expressed, or are able to express, except through our actions. What I mean to say is, these memories aren't really memories in the traditional sense, but more in the psychological sense. And these implicit memories have greater impacts on us than we (can/want to) admit. Proceed on the working assumption that most people will carry on behaving as they’ve always behaved so far, sort of thing. Now, I'm not arguing that you can't grow into and out of these 'implicit ideas' (cuz I'm pretty sure learning has a lot to do with it), but that is not the point of this post.. Did that paragraph make any sense?

Anyway, what I'm trying to say, basically, is that from my implicit assumptions of explicit words, I've always been attracted to (the TOTALLY unknown and obviously absolutely ridiculous feeling toward) Rachael McAdams. I mean, if she was renown as the best looking actress out there than you could explain it via sexual selection. Everyone has their sweethearts.. it's not always clear why. This gets into the sexual selection vs. natural selection debate. As Berkley's Evolution 101 puts it, "Sexual selection is a “special case” of natural selection". More clearly and outwardly, why are people attracted to other 'types' of people?

Why do people have 'types'? How do we recognize our 'types' and why, often so easily (naturally) and so quickly? Or, OR, OR.. are we actually bad at recognizing our types, looking for certain traits while dismissing others fairly early? What is the reason that we get together at all? Can constantly looking for the 'wrong types' or 'right types' reflect in parallel with music or art choices? oh boy... and now I realize I'm getting way off topic here.

Let me digress a bit, while still getting even weirder on your ass.

So - weirdly admittedly - I started looking at what attracted others to Rachael McAdams. And totally admittedly, what attracted McAdams to others. So, the classic go-to case here is Ryan Gosling. I mean, if I'm going to carry this idea of small, specific, certain out-of-context traits forming our ideas and consciousness of others based on past implicit experiences, I may as well take it to the next level and apply this to someone else. I didn't know much about him, and I still don't, but I have found this.

This is Ryan's band, and it sounds, to me at least, like music I've made. Or, perhaps more specifically, like music I thought I've made, and would like to make. Moreover and furthermore, this is gorgeous. Those hand-claps and chorus kill me.

Ok, and now the major connection to Brother's Grimm and Gorey.. This makes me smile for too many reasons that I can not now apparently express... the passivity, the chorus, the harmony, the tambourine, and the child like capture of Gorey.

Feels like similar chord progressions (or jumps), collectivity, production as an in between of She and Him and Arcade Fire.


This guy is pretty awesome in my books. Download the album here (torrent).

Eerie? Kinda (who else do you know that actually acknowledges the influence of Gorey within their craft), but not really... Coincidence?.. big time. Unless you believe there are no coincidences. Which, I haven't really thought about yet in a proper sense (emotionally, mathematically speaking, higher power wise, etc.. ) Anyway, he has gone on to a totally different and additional degree of this characteristic of his personality than I probably ever will! Of course opportunity plays into the equation, but I'm not posting about fate (yet! - or even the opportunity - or even more so, the desire for that self-made opportunity!.. or, the want to take that opportunity.. my head is starting to jumble... ). Regressing (again), perhaps simply (?), there is a passion and commitment there that perhaps opportunity has endowed, and it is an opportunity he has taken and run with well. Moreover and digressing-ly so, this is only looking at one aspect of a person, a similarity vs. a difference. This totally does not define a person in ANY WAY! I apparently want you to be well aware of that.

This post basically is a thought experiment of very isolated terms. Of isolating terms, thoughts, feelings, in terms of information gathering. Is this even productive? Counter? Is this just a form of profiling? How does the person doing the information gathering influence the information? Perception obviously plays a large part here.

Still, I find it pretty awesome to do this sort of thing. It's pretty fun doing these types of things for me... over-analyzing certain aspect of situations, character, perhaps even a defining moment. In general, I think these things mean too much to people, and they also, mean very, very little in the end sometimes. Most of the time, in fact, these things are inconsequential and potentially detrimental to your overall happiness. It's absolutely insane how much there is involved here.

Moreover, and finally getting even closer to the point, poems to me are about analyzing that isolation. About the isolation of a feeling, a thought, about the beauty of it. Maybe about trying to reduce something, anything, individual things, everything, to its absolute essence. Its being(,) maybe.

The progression here is hopefully straight-forward now. I've started a secondary blog filled with poems, thoughts, allegations, and things left unsaid. Not only poems, but short snippets of feelings. SumXy, Sometimes Why, sum(x)(y), http://sumxy.com has a similar objective to the this blog. It provides me an avenue to express the experience; perhaps more so focused within the feelings of the experience as opposed to the gathering of. More than just keeping a record. But not much more... they're mostly just going to be scribblings.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
- Maya Angelou

... as I end with a "Wikipedia" reference. God, sometimes I want to smack the shit out of myself.

Anyway, this is probably the most inappropriate way to introduce a new blog, and yeah, I definitely didn't expect anyone to have read this far, but that was also kind of the point. Welcome back Sometimes Why. Once a band, started way back in the 1998, wishing they had more chorus, that I'm trying to carry on for.

Everyone has that little black book. Whether it's real or not, they write in it. For some reason I feel like sharing it. All confessions expressed, here in white on black. I have a feeling like it's/they're/the blackbook/the feelings are not my really my own, but from a collective of experiences. These are not poems, not by any stretch of your imagination. But, it's a start. It's stuck in my head from somewhere or someone to always try to do that which is hardest. I've never been all that good at expressing myself, or at least I've been told.




Ok, now that I've exposed myself as absolutely ... something... , it's time to bury this post under the tangible world.... Sorry. There will be more. There is always more.